Yo, Champagne Floppy Wildin' Out Again

 Aight, check it fam! It’s ya boy Dondi White, the illest music critic on these streets, the king of all that juicy music tea and whatnot.

Yo, Drake just dropped! Not just a lil' feature on Benny the Butcher’s track, but his own joints too. This is the real deal, y’all. So picture this – I’m on my lunch break with the homies, mop bucket in hand (yeah, ya boy might be the King of New York, but I still on the dead end job tip). Anyway, we all get that notification – Drake dropped. We almost blasted it right there, but I had to step out so I could vibe to it solo at the crib, no distractions. Now I’m home, told the homies not to say a word ‘til I’m ready to discuss. Let’s get into it!

SOD – First joint I peeped ‘cause of some tech issues. Meant to start with "No Face", but we’ll get there.

Classic Drake right here – in other words, that corny lovey-dovey joint you hear when broads are shopping for makeup at the mall. Dude’s basically saying he’s feeling this chick, even though she a garden tool on the streets, but he’s down to bang her ‘cause… he’s on the same garden tool tip. Foolishness. Next.

Beats - 7/10  

Lyrics - 4/10  

11/20

Language 2 AKA Circadian Rhythm – Feels like Drake’s throwing shade at Kendrick again. Kendrick once said something about “coming in the circadian rhythms of a shooting star.” I’mma have to dig deeper into this one after I figure out what happened to "No Face", but here’s the quick rundown:

Beats - 4/10  

Lyrics - 4/10  

8/20

That hook was trash. The beat switch made it even worse. Typical Drake nonsense.

No Face – So apparently, Drake yanked this one off the ‘Gram. But don’t trip, the internet got us. Some folks ripped it and threw it on YouTube, so let’s check it…

Straight up diss track aimed at Kendrick. Again, bro’s taking shots at him.

Playboi Carti – aka Don’t-Play-That-Boy-Carti – on the hook, just repeating the title like a parrot. But Drake? Yo, he sound mad. Like, for real mad. Y’all remember when King Push bodied Drake and said, “I wanna see what it’s like when you get mad”? Well, looks like we seeing it now. Let me rate this real quick, then I’mma run it all back and download some bootlegs just in case they scrub it.

Beats - 6/10  

Lyrics - 3/10  

9/20

Analysis –

Aight, ya boy's gonna go with "No Face" since that's low-key the main star of this dump. Drake’s talking about his enemy eating off his features. Then he says his crew’s begging him not to beef, but homie’s too heated to listen. Son, your crew’s right. Beefing with Kendrick again? That’s just asking for an L. He chewed you up and spat you out last time word.

Now Drake’s talking about his therapist telling him to chill. He’s like, “Nah, I ain’t cooling down.” This whole track is just Drake saying, “I’m mad, I’m gonna get revenge, and everyone who’s looking out for me can shut it.” Well, guess we just gon’ sit back and watch this fool dig his own grave. Drake’s about to get bodied again. This time, it might make Round One with Kendrick look like child’s play.

Drake’s reason for thinking he’ll win? The ladies love him. Son actually says that on the track. Yo Nectar Gargling Brother, is you serious? Son’s got some of the most loyal fans ever. He rocks some wack fits? They say he’s just being himself. He gets roasted by Pusha T? They say he was just experimenting. He gets clowned by Kendrick? Nah, not clowned – demolished, murked, roasted, baked, buried, all that type ish. His stans say it was all part of his master plan to make Kendrick blow up or look dumb or whatever. Son, Kendrick was already blowing up before you even knew his name. 

And that’s what Drake don’t get. Kendrick had clout way before Drake even peeped him. Champagne Floppy wildin' out here like a 13 yr old trippin' on krylon cans and acting like he made Kendrick famous. Get outta here with that. No one made Kendrick famous but God and himself. I remember when "Good Kid, M.A.A.D City" dropped – ain't nobody hyping it ‘cause of Drake. Nah, we copped it for that raw gangsta rap. Ain’t nobody cared about some soft dude doing love songs on one feature on it. Miss me with that "I gave y'all da props" BS.

Maybe that’s why Drake calls himself the Iceman now – ‘cause he’s out here melting down.

Anyway, I’m out. I’ll update if Kendrick decides to reply. Personally, I think Kendrick should just leave it on ice for a minute, let the anticipation build. But we’ll see. ‘Til then, peace and one love.