REVIEW - PlayThatBoiZay: VIP

 Ayo, what’s good y’all? It’s ya boy Dondi White back in the mix, live and direct from some basement spot in the USA. We ‘bout to chop it up on this new tape by some cat called PlayThatBoiZay. No clue how this joint gon’ play out, but we rollin’ with it.

First off, gotta give mad love to my girl Emma, my angel. Yo, you hold me down through all my BS. You don’t even gotta deal with my wildness, but you do, and I’m crazy blessed to have a beautiful queen like you in my life.

Aight, let’s get into it.

Shoota - This joint kicks off with the 5-0 sirens. My man starts spittin’ through some robotic-sounding mess. I’m not feelin’ it, fam. Sounds like a busted payphone with mad static. Imma try to break down these bars though.

Honestly, this would hit harder if he dropped the vocoder nonsense.

Beats - 7/10

Lyrics - 3/10

10/20

Lil Jit ft. Kenny Mason - The sample at the start is cool, but yo, this intro? Straight garbage. Dude’s just yellin’ cuss words into the mic like he’s on some numetal vibes or chuggin’ too much Monster. Sounds like these fools ‘bout to flatline.

I can’t even tell what this track’s about ‘cause he’s wildin’ out so hard. This is trash, word is bond. Sound like he’s flexin’ on smashin’ some broad in public, but this flow? Dead. Hook is dumb.

Kenny Mason comes in, spittin’ normal, but they did my boy dirty with like ten seconds of airtime. No shine for him.

Okay, that was straight ear rape. Somebody need to stuff this fool’s robot mouth with a sock. And only givin’ Kenny ten seconds? That’s a slap in the face, son.

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 0/10

5/20

Mood Swings ft. Mike Dimes - Same sample as the last track, but with some pissed-off chick leavin’ a voicemail. Maybe sister was promised a good album and whaddya know she ain't got it.

The spittin’ here is better. Rhymes are missin’, and the hook is mad lazy, but it’s bearable. Mike Dimes jumps in... normally I ain’t feelin’ this brother, he flows like he got baby powder up in his mouth, word, but damn, he’s the anchor on this. PlayThatBoiZay sounds like he just popped a Perc and stumbled into the booth.

Beats - 7/10

Lyrics - 5/10

12/20

Fuck 12 - Aight, they taggin’ up a spot. I’m diggin’ this. Hope my guy’s tag game stronger than his rap game. It’s just a skit, though.

Temple Run - Yo, anytime you see a track named after some goofy 2000s iPad kiddie game, you already know this ish gonna be trash.

First off, son needs to realize he sounds better without the robot voice. And these rhymes? Sounds like he flipped through a Dr. Seuss book for ideas. Weak.

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 2/10

8/20

Hoodlumz ft. Denzel Curry & A$ap Rocky - This joint’s off that "King of the Mischievous South Vol. 2" from Denzel Curry. By the way, that tape’s growin’ on me. Peep the review here: (https://realreviewsbydondiwhite.blogspot.com/2024/08/review-denzel-curry-king-of-mischievous.html?m=1)

Cut Up - Oh hell nah. This intro sounds like some baby stuff. And that fake accent? Mad annoying. Whoever’s doin’ ad-libs in the back deserves to catch these hands for makin’ this track even worse. Maybe with a metal bat... somebody needs to shut him up.

Beats - 8/10

Lyrics - 2/10

10/20

Tick Tock - This one feels like Yeat’s boring "2093" tape. Everything’s the same, and that vocoder? Dumbest move of 2024—other than Drake tryin’ to beef with Kendrick.

That whiny voice? Mad distracting. Had to rewind this just to catch the lyrics… and still, it’s trash. The beat saved it, though.

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 3/10

9/20

Pride - Does this dude rap about anything besides his harem of chicks? Nah. Sounds like son caught a bad case of Carter V Lil Wayne. The beat? Ruined by the ad-libs. The bars? Ruined by the vocoder. Rhymes? Basic as hell—hurt, dirt, alert, flirt. Come on now.

Beats - 6/10

Lyrics - 3/10

9/20

Hu$tle Man - Another skit. Sadly, the skits on this album are the best thing goin’. I can finally chill from PlayThatBoiZay screamin’ in my ear and listen to some dude try to hustle fake DVDs to some sister. Dope.

Yoo ft. JPEGMAFIA - This one starts off wild. The bars, though? Much better. The first verse actually got some substance.

The hook? Straight garbage. This shouldn’t have left the studio.

JPEGMAFIA comes in and saves it, though. He’s flowin’ nice, which is a much-needed break from the rest of this garbage. Why he get a full verse and Kenny Mason only got ten seconds? Makes no sense.

Beats - 7/10

Lyrics - 5/10

12/20

Beauty in Pain - I dunno the sample at the start, but it’s fire. Points for that.

The bars are better, less robot junk, but it’s still the same old story. The hook? Trash.

There’s a skit with some chick talkin’ ‘bout how she’s down with PlayThatBoiZay. Girl, you must’ve gone deaf from this dude’s music to be sayin’ that. No lie, this slaps on mute.

Beats - 8/10

Lyrics - 3/10

11/20

Villain - First bar is dumb corny. This dude really rhymin’ sad, bad, had?!! Yo, miss me with that preschool rap, son.

The hook is straight up trash, or like PlayThatBoiZay says "lame as fuck".

Beats - 7/10

Lyrics - 2/10

9/20

The Weak - This should’ve been the title track for the whole tape.

He’s tryna get deep, but it’s fallin’ flat ‘cause it’s so basic. Every bar he’s spittin’ been said before by better cats. Some of these lines are straight up wack. Rhymin’ “not” and “hot” on loop.

This might be the saddest attempt at “conscious rap” I’ve heard in a minute.

Beats - 5/10

Lyrics - 3/10

8/20

118/260

45%

This tape was straight garbage. Only thing worth checkin’ was JPEGMAFIA and Denzel Curry showin’ out—and Denzel’s joint wasn’t even part of the album for real. And yeah, the skits were cool, but skits don’t mean jack. 

First off, PlayThatBoiZay needs to learn how to rhyme like he ain’t pullin’ from some preschooler’s book, or some Japanese haiku, or some corny high school freestyle off YouTube. Ain’t nobody in the culture feelin’ that.

Kid, your DJ or whoever told you that you sound fire on a vocoder straight up hates you. Both of y’all need to take it outside, and you need to stomp his narrow ass so bad he never touches a record you're rapping on again. He can make fire basslines and sample, but other than that, dude’s a clown.

After that, go peep some Eric B. and Rakim or maybe some Del or MF Grimm and learn how to spit proper. Ain’t nobody checkin’ for your basic-ass rhymes but middle schoolers.

Also, give Kenny more bars next time. Havin’ him on for ten seconds? Disrespectful. Might as well never have called son over. For real, this album’s a mess at every turn. And those ad-libs on “Cut Up” are the worst. I know I'm catch a charge for wildin' out on the ad-lib guy in real life, but yo, I’mma kill him in my mind tonight. And I ain’t talkin’ about just stabbin’ him, nah, this critic's gonna do him some wild creative shit brothers ain't never seen before.

Best Track - Hoodlumz

Worst Track - That mess called “Lil Jit”

Favorite Track - Hoodlumz